Our Little Angel
by burtneymac95
Summary: Olivia finds out that she's pregnant with Fitz's baby after their night in Vermont. However, with all the stress in her life, she suffers a miscarriage. How will she tell Fitz? How can they cope with losing their first child? This is how I think they could write Kerry's pregnancy into the show. Slightly AU. Post 3x09. One-shot.


_Hey everyone! Last night I had some really strong motivation to write this story. My friend and I were discussing how we think they should've incorporated Kerry Washington's pregnancy into the show, and this is what we came up with. _

_I hope you all enjoy it and like it as much as I did. :)_

_Disclaimer: The characters, settings, etc do not belong to me. They all belong to Shonda Rhimes and Co. _

* * *

It was about a month after Fitz and Olivia's night in Vermont. After finding out that her mother was alive and also a terrorist, Olivia had been overly stressed. They tried to hunt Maya down once she got to Hong Kong, but came to no avail. So at the moment, they were all monitoring and trying their best to find her and bring her back to the United States.

Olivia was at home trying to wind down, but she kept feeling sick. She got this rumble in the pit of her stomach, as she ran to the bathroom and vomited. This continued for about a week until she realized that she had also missed her period.

"_Shit."_ she thought. _"It can't be."_

She instantly ran to the store, grabbing as many pregnancy tests as she could. She returned back home and tested all of them out. Minutes later, every single one of them confirmed that she was indeed pregnant.

_"No. This cannot be happening." _

She instantly fell to the ground and started crying. In a way she was happy that she had a little Fitzgerald Grant growing inside of her, but he was still married and unavailable. There was no way that she could go through with having the child. Imagine the press finding out about it.

She could see it now, "President Grant has bastard child with former Communications Director Olivia Pope."

She did not want their baby to be labeled as such. It was not a bastard, it was their baby, made from the love that they shared for each other. She kept weeping, wishing that this wasn't happening. Wishing that it was under different circumstances. She wanted nothing more than to bore his baby, but now was not the time, if there ever was a time.

She grabbed all of the tests and threw them in the trash can in anger. What was she going to do? Was she going to tell him? Have an abortion? Keep it and say that it was someone else's? She had no idea what to do.

She pressed her hand to her stomach, rubbing it. "Whatever happens little one, know that you are loved."

The realization of what she said hit her, as she began crying once again. The urge to drink a bottle of wine was killing her, but she knew that she couldn't. She went and popped a bag of popcorn, grabbed a bottle of water, and went and cuddled up in her bed, trying to get her mind off of her latest dilemma.

* * *

_3 months later_

Olivia was laying in bed, tissues all around her. She was crying profusely, her nose stuffy.

The phone began to ring. Not just any phone, the _Fitz phone._

She sighed, contemplating on whether she should answer it or not. She finally took a deep breath and flipped the phone open.

"What?" Olivia answered, sounding sick because of all the crying.

"Hi." he said.

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing after everything that's happened. I heard you haven't been out of bed in a couple of days."

"I just needed some time to myself." she whispered.

"Why are you being so quiet? I know something is wrong, just tell me."

"My mother is a terrorist who is now in a federal prison for the rest of her life, my father is still in control of everyone's life, and…."

She stopped her sentence.

"And what Livvie? Talk to me."

"I...can't."

He could hear that she was about to cry. "Sweet baby, it's killing me knowing how upset you are. Let me come over."

"No." she said sternly.

"I want to be with you. We can take the jet back to Vermont. We can spend the night there again. Just you and me. Us."

She started crying harder. "Liv?" She didn't answer. "Olivia. Whatever is wrong, we'll fix it. You just need to talk to me."

"I need to go."

"But…"

She hung up. She cradled herself, holding her stomach and crying. Listening to his voice was the hardest thing in the world for her right now. She needed to keep her distance from him. Maybe he would eventually leave her alone. But she knew that that was never going to happen. Not with Fitzgerald Grant.

* * *

_1 month later_

"Sir, Olivia Pope is here." Lauren told Fitz.

"Olivia? Send her in." he said, excited and surprised.

She walked into the Oval, but he could tell that something was off. She didn't look the same. She looked unhealthy, skinnier, and sad. She looked completely broken.

"Liv, I've been so worried about you. I haven't spoken to you in almost a month. How are you?" he said, walking over to her.

She held her hand up to stop him. "There's something that I need to tell you."

"Alright, what is it? Sit down." He grabbed her hand and led her to the couch.

"The cameras." she whispered.

"Tom's on duty. It's okay." he said, smiling.

She didn't say anything, just looked down. He could tell that she was nervous about something.

"Livvie, what's wrong? You look…different. Like something isn't right." She started crying. "Liv?"

He grabbed her hand, but she didn't look up.

"Look at me." Still nothing. He pulled her chin up with his index finger. "What is it?"

"I have…something...to tell you." she said in between cries.

"I know, baby. Go ahead. You can tell me anything."

"About...four months ago...I found out...that I was pregnant."

His face instantly lit up. "Seriously?"

She nodded and started crying again. "I wasn't sure if I was going to tell you or not because I knew how disastrous it could be."

"Liv, I don't care. You're having my baby. That's all that matters."

He put his hand on her stomach, but she slapped it away.

"Stop!" she exclaimed.

He jumped back, not sure why she reacted that way. Olivia was having his baby. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her passionately and tell her how much he loved her and their baby. What was her problem?

"What? What's wrong?"

"You didn't let me finish." She took a deep breath and tried to keep the tears in. "There is no baby…anymore. I lost him about a month ago."

His face dropped. The wrinkle in his forehead lowered, tears filling his eyes. He looked exactly like he did when Verna told him that Olivia was involved with Defiance.

"Wh…what?"

"I am so sorry Fitz. I didn't want to lose him. There was so much stress in my life. I loved him. He was ours. He was the start of our dream…I…."

She broke down, tears rapidly falling from her face. He grabbed her and pulled her close, rubbing her back.

"Shhh. It's not your fault. It's out of your control." She wouldn't stop crying. "Liv, it is not your fault. It's okay."

"I was going to tell you. I didn't know what to do at first, but after a couple months, I was going to tell you. We could've handled it. We could've...I…I am so sorry."

She started crying once again as he began crying as well. He hated seeing her so distraught, especially over the fact that she lost their child. His heart was breaking inside, but he had to hold it together in order to calm her down.

"Olivia, I can't find the right words to say right now, other than I love you and it is not your fault. You didn't do anything to cause it to happen. We live very stressful lives. It's understandable. But do not dare blame yourself for this. You loved him, he knows that."

"How could he possibly know that? He…"

"He lived inside of you. You took care of him. You loved him. He was loved. By you, by me, by us. He will always be remembered."

She didn't say anything. She cried in his arms as he caressed her back. She finally looked up at him.

"I wanted to name him Lucas." she whispered. "Lucas Fitzgerald."

"Lucas Fitzgerald." he repeated. "I love it. I love you. We will get through this."

He wiped the tears away from her eyes. "I promise you Livvie, he will be remembered. He lives inside of our hearts now. No one will ever know about him, but we will. He will never be forgotten. No matter what happens to us, I will think about him every day and wish that he was here with us."

"I just don't want you to hate me...for losing our child."

"Olivia Carolyn Pope, there is no way that I could ever hate you. Especially not about this. I know how hard this must be for you. It is killing me inside as well. But we have made it through so many obstacles before. This is just a small setback. We will have Vermont. We will be married. You can make jam and we'll have a bunch of little kids running around the house. This isn't over for us. He will always be our son."

Tears began falling from her eyes again, as he wiped them off. He slowly moved his thumb in a circle on her cheek.

"I love you." she whispered.

"I love you too, sweet baby. Always."

* * *

_11 months later_

"Fitz? What are we doing here?" Olivia asked, stepping off the plane.

"Well since I am no longer President...or married, I figured this was the perfect time to bring you here and show you what has been done."

She smiled, holding his hand as they walked into _their_ home.

She looked around, as the house now looked like it was ready to live in. The kitchen looked like an actual kitchen, with utensils and appliances all around it. The living room was done up the same as it was before. The place looked beautiful. Even more so than it did over a year ago.

"It looks amazing, Fitz."

"You haven't seen the best part yet."

He took her hand and led her outback, where she saw a tombstone with flowers surrounding it.

Tears filled her eyes and it took her breath away. She whispered, "Fitz."

"Go." he simply said.

She slowly walked over, memories overpowering her. She reached the tombstone, as she read what was engraved on it.

_LUCAS FITZGERALD GRANT_

_"AN ANGEL IN THE BOOK OF LIFE WROTE DOWN MY BABY'S BIRTH. AND WHISPERED AS SHE CLOSED THE BOOK "TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR EARTH."_

_FOREVER LOVED BY MOMMY AND DADDY_

She started crying, as Fitz walked over to her.

"It's been a year." he whispered.

_"_You remembered."

"I remembered."

She looked up at him, smiling. She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers.

"It's beautiful Fitz. I love it."

"I wasn't sure how you would feel about it. But I wanted proof that he did exist. Like I said, he will always be remembered. Now, we can come out here and talk to him anytime we want. He will know that he was loved."

She leaned up and kissed him, as he pulled her close into a hug.

"You're amazing. This is amazing."

He didn't say anything as they just stood at the tombstone, admiring the beauty of their surroundings and remembering _their_ son.

* * *

_"Daddy please don't look so sad, momma please don't cry. Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies. Please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind. Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind. You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above. I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love. I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night. Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light. You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane. That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain. When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows. Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose. When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug, don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug. So daddy don't looks so sad and momma please don't cry. I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies."_

* * *

_Is anyone else crying? I know I was. I hope you all liked it. Let me know what you thought. Have a great holiday season everyone! :)_


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